Techniques that helped me:
• Perhaps
the biggest solace was realizing and accepting that this horrible feeling is only
temporary and is the result of the disease, and that reality is not as
bad as I perceive it to be. Accepting this stopped me from trying to resist it,
which was vain and enervating, and helped me accept it. When the fog would come over me
and torment my mind, I learned to "lay low" and "wait out the storm"
by not trying to resist it. It is still difficult but takes less energy
than to vainly try to break free from it.
• One thing that
unfailingly makes me feel good when I feel hopeless and worthless, is
reminding myself that other people felt the same way or even worse,
thereby making it OK for me to feel this way. Like Abraham Lincoln,
despite having severe depression he went on to do great things. It
validates my feeling, and makes me feel like I'm not alone.
• The other solace is being able to relate to somebody else who was going through the same thing. It put things in perspective.
• Writing
about my feelings (blogging and journaling), listening to validating
music (I listened to Korn a lot), reading a validating book (like a
memoir)
• Also, “coming out” was a great relief. It was hard to
tell others, but telling friends took a huge burden off my shoulders of
keeping it a secret. Letting others know about my illness makes me
feel like I am breaking down the silence around it and that something
good has come out of my experience. Sharing with others that you have a
mental illness is difficult at first because you are vulnerable and
stigmatized, but I noticed that, as a rule, when I share something
personal others tend to share something about themselves. Also, it’s
surprising how many people want you to share your experiences because
they themselves are depressed. They are hoping that somebody will help
them but are just too afraid to say reach out.
• Meditation. I paid $375 (which was already a 50% student discount on
the full $750 fee) to learn transcendental meditation. The technique is
really simple and does not require much training; however, paying the
money made me commit to it more. The technique involves sitting still
for 20 minutes in the morning and at night and repeating a mantra in
your head--it can be anything, like "one" or "ohm"--while not thinking
about anything else, and if you catch your mind drifting, gently bring
it back to the mantra. Meditation is extremely effective at easing
anxiety and worry. However, it is really hard to get into the habit and
takes a few tries before you can calm your mind down effectively.
• Books. I
bought several self-help books and memoirs, which helped tremendously.
Reading memoirs helped me feel less alone and understand that what I
was experiencing was normal, and reading self-help helped me understand
what I was going through better and feel like I had some control over
my well being. The memoirs I read were: An Unquiet Mind, and Darkness
Visible. Recently I also read Lincoln's Melancholy, and Unholy Ghost. I
also bought The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns, which has a lot
of helpful information and exercises. My therapist also recommended me
the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook to help manage my
emotions.
• Having goals that requires discipline. For me, this was to get my yellow belt in Judo, which required coming to practices twice a week. Also, I wanted to gain lean muscle mass, so I was going to the gym regularly. These fitness goals helped me tremendously in managing my mood and stress.
Other suggestions for how to get the most from depression treatment:
•
Monitor your mood.
Monitoring your moods and behavior from time to time can help your
doctor treat your depression before it becomes hard to control.
Try to observe any patterns of mood swings each week and call your doctor if you aren’t feeling at the top of your game.
•
Strengthen your social support. While you cannot control your depression diagnosis, there are some things you can control. You can
seek or create a positive support system for
yourself. Whether your social network stems from your spouse, family
members, close friends, co-workers, religious organizations, or
community groups, support is available.
•
See a depression expert. Any doctor can prescribe depression medication, but a prescription alone isn't the best treatment. You should
seek out an expert, like a psychiatrist or a psychologist.
Your condition is, by definition, hard to treat. It's important to talk
with a trained professional during your treatment. Although
psychologists cannot prescribe medication, they are well-trained in
psychotherapy. You can work with a psychologist while taking
antidepressants prescribed by your regular doctor, or you can see a
psychiatrist for both your depression medication and talk therapy. Try
to find someone who has a lot of experience helping people with
treatment-resistant depression.
•
Develop good habits. Take
your depression medicine at the same time every day. It's easier to
remember if you do it along with another activity such as eating breakfast
or getting into bed. Get a weekly pillbox, which will make it easy to
see if you've missed a dose. Since people sometimes forget a dose now
and then, make sure you know what to do if that happens.
•
Don't ignore side effects.
Side effects are one of the main reasons that people give up on
medication. For instance, in a British study of just over 1,000 people
with depression, 65% said they stopped taking their medicine at some
point. Of this group, about 45% said side effects were the reason. The
results were published in
Current Medical Research and Opinion in 2003.
If you have side effects, talk to your doctor.
See if there's any way to minimize or eliminate them. However, keep in
mind that side effects might be worse when you first start a medicine.
Side effects often ease up over time.
•
Maintain regular sleep habits. Talk to your doctor if you have difficulty falling asleep or maintaining sleep.
There are new non-addictive medications available that can help resolve
sleep problems. Also, cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown in
recent clinical trials to be a helpful adjunct treatment for patients
who have impaired sleep efficiency, or anxiety and fears about poor
sleep.
Andrew Solomon's interview (author of The Noonday Demon):
from documentary DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows
What advice would you give others?
- First piece of advice: Deal with it early. Don't wait until it
escalates out of control. Like any illness, it's easier to treat before
it becomes acute.
- Second piece of advice: Find the right therapist and
psychopharmacologist. Sometimes that's one person and sometimes it's two
people; seek the best. There a lot of bad treatments and too many
incompetent shrinks, so if you're not getting better, try seeing someone
else. It's exhausting and annoying shopping around, but as in all other
areas of life, there are some people who are highly skilled and others
who just aren't very good. There are also people who work well for one
patient and aren't right for another.
- Third piece of advice: If you have a chronic condition, treat it in
the long-term. Have the courage to stay on your meds, and don't be
tricked into thinking that brave people get better on their own. If you
had lung cancer, you wouldn't try to cure it by breathing carefully.
Don't trivialize depression. Remember that it can be fatal: A large
number of depressed people commit suicide.
- Fourth piece of advice: Don't keep it all a big secret. Depression is stressful and keeping secrets is stressful. But tell people selectively and carefully. Some people can deal with it and others can't. And get yourself a support structure. Love won't cure depression, but it will make it a whole lot easier to tolerate.
